its completely nipplelicious

Ha! I got you on the title didn’t I? That one was simply for attentions sake, and a bit of a “rub it in your face” to all those that have sent me nasty little emails. Yes, this site is inappropriate for children. It says that right from the get go. Of course, if you are going to click on “The day the Dildo died”, and then complain, well there you have it. Now that we got that little drama out of the way, here is my ironic story of the day.

Yesterday, after two weeks of not being able to drive, I finally became legal again. The man reminded me that you never know what you got until it’s gone. That is so true. I missed my green machine mini van so much. I spent the day yesterday paying fees out the whoo hoo, paperwork from hell, and driving hours to get this all done. I was so excited to be able to get back to work today believe it or not.

Then at 5:30 am I got those computer calls from the  schools telling me “no school” for the kids. Okay fine. I peek out the window and all I see is white. Everywhere I looked was covered in snow. Still no big deal, it is the snow belt after all. I decide to head into work two hours early to give myself plenty of time to get there without crashing. Well, I made it to the end of town (after gunning out of my snow filled parking lot), where lo and behold the bridge out of town is closed. Okay, so I make a U-turn and head for the other bridge. CLOSED!!

So now I was down to one road out of town left. It’s a doozy of a road, with curves for miles, and hidden drives, all on a good day. As I pull up to my one last escape route, the railroad tracks across it are covered in snow, four cars are stuck sideways, left  ways, and nearly upside down. There went that lovely idea, thanks a lot Storm of the Century. I put my car into park right there and called my boss to tell her the good news. She started laughing at me, and told me it was just my luck. My first day of driving freedom and I couldn’t even get out of town.

Moral is “NEVER GET OVERLY EXCITED, YOU ARE DOOMED FOR DISAPPOINTMENT” (and I don’t mean our sex life dear).