its completely nipplelicious

All of my life I have been the family Klutz. I was the one who rode my bike straight into a brick wall, stumbled over imaginary bumps on the sidewalk, and spilled drinks on white shirts every time. I was also known as the one who had the most embarrassing stories about myself.

Well, I am 31 years old now, still the family klutz, and still the one who gets into the weirdest situations. Let me tell you about me day two days ago. I work in a retail store selling medical scrubs and chef-wear. A man came in and said he liked the chef pants in the window display, and wanted a pair.  We start looking on the rack, and of course, I don’t have his size. I peek at the tag on the pair on the mannequin, and they are what he needs.

Now these mannequins are metal mannequins complete with chest area, and they are metal. So of course the pants are on there tight as can be, and no tugging will remove them. The front display is a tight squeeze, so I get in front of the mannequin, get on my knees, and start yanking on these pants. Its tough going, so I’m grunting as I do this. With one final hard pull, down come the pants.

As I’m pulling them all the way off, I hear extremely loud laughter. I look over at the guy, and he’s snickering, but not out loud laughter. That’s when I look out the window. A large group of women are standing there laughing their asses off at me. They were laughing so hard, I thought the one was going to piss herself.

And that’s when it hit me. I had just de-pants a mannequin in full view, with my face in his crotch. Nice one Nipsy. At least I can honestly say when it comes to me, I get the job done.

Trackback URI | Comments RSS