its completely nipplelicious

So it was a rough kind of night for me. Nothing serious, nothing worth panic mode, but rough none the less. I hung up with the man tonight, and I literally sat here and cried for awhile. I know I don’t talk much about him and I, and well, to be honest, I won’t. That’s a part of my life that is strictly for him and I. (That’s the polite way of saying “noneya business.)

But tonight, I was missing him quite a bit, and though I wanted to talk of us more, we got onto other subjects.  When we hung up, it was almost as if I felt a bit empty. So, I had my good cry, in fact, as I type, a few more tears are finishing their rounds. It hits like that every now and then. That’s a good thing in my eyes. We all need an outlet. When I’m angry, I need to rant, so I do. When I’m lonely, I need to call him, so I do. And when I’m simply sad, I need to cry, and so I do.

Being half Hungarian, and half Choctaw Indian, I fully admit to having an emotional side. It’s all on how I’ve learned to deal with it that matters. I’ve come a long way in just the last year in doing so. I will toot my own horn, I am damned proud of myself. See, the juices are flowing, and I had my cry. I’m still sad a bit, but I don’t have that over flowing feeling anymore.

Not letting those emotions out can be a bad thing. Holding things in too often, and too much can lead to a blow up of extreme proportions with things said or done that cannot be taken back. So at times, you need to let them out. Of course, going the opposite and always being an emotional person can be a bad thing also. When I first met the man I was a scared angry woman. I often took my anger out on everyone around me, sometimes my children, sometimes him. I yelled a lot more, I was quick to temper, I said hurtful things. Hell, sometimes I don’t know how he lasted ten minutes around me. He must have seen the better side.

When you get that over filled feeling, whether it’s happiness, sadness, anger, or any other emotion, find what works for you and let some of that emotion out.  Here’s a few things I have done, laugh if you must some really are funny, but they worked for me.

ANGER~Before-I would simply snap at someone or yell

Now-I take a deep breath, close my eyes, sometimes even give a sigh, and then I react in a much better way

SADNESS~Before-Bawled like a baby for hours, sometimes to the point I made myself sick, and it never accomplished anything

Now-I let myself have that good cry, I try not to let it go past 30 minutes, and I feel that pressure release

LONELINESS~ Before-I admit it, I’d sit and cry

Now-I pull up pictures that make me happy, or I sit and have memory time with myself

HAPPINESS~Before-I’d show it

Now-I share it

THE ULTIMATE DESPAIR(also called the breaking point)~Before-I would scream, shout, cry and everyone around felt it with me

Now-I go into my room, lay on the bed, and literally scream into my pillow for about ten seconds. Then I make some coffee, and go soak in the tub. Then, pull out the notepad, and write my thoughts down. I may never have to look at it again, but the next time I get that feeling, I pull it out and read.

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