its completely nipplelicious

I think  I am writing the easiest blog yet.  Or maybe not the easiest, but the most interesting.  The man taught me a new toy tonight that I can use on my computer.  I have seen it before just never thought using it.  Now that I know I can it will definitely get it’s use.  I suppose I should mention just what toying I am playing with, before you get the wrong idea.

The speech recognition on my computer is something I am learning as I type.  Or in this case as I speak.  It is interesting to say the least.  The tutorial is something you have to go through to make sure you learned just what you can do with voice controls.

They can come in handy for someone like me who has problems with multi tasking.  This way I can tell my computer just what to do as my hands are busy doing other things.  Again  get your mind out the gutter you pervs.  The only problem I see is pronounciation.  I tend not to speak very clearly especially for computer to understand.  Once I can get past that ended the computer to recognize the way I talk it will be much easier to dictate.

As for the other things it can do that’s where the fun begins.  I can now open almost any program simply by saying open and then the name of a program.  I can open my fire fox, the messenger, all my bookmarks, and of my documents and files.

This program would come in handy for someone who has sight problems or is simply better at saying what they want instead of typing.  Of course sitting here speaking the words instead of typing them does come with some interesting computer interpretations.  Somehow when I said “italic” the computer put lick that.  Maybe it is just another way for me to learn how to edit, edit, edit.  Of course when I just said that it opened up the edit.

I hope after you read this, you decide to run and play with your speech recognition also.  Just remember to use the tutorial and for your first few uses do it without children around.  The first time I opened fire fox, it also opened the pop-up  add for a porn site.

I get asked by women all the time, “How can I find a great guy? Where can I meet a nice guy, a decent guy?” Let me tell you ladies, it’s all very simple. Yes, I tell this same answer every time, even to friends I have known for years.

STOP BEING A WHORE!!

See how simple it is? Keep your clothes on, close your legs, and quit screwing every Joe Shmoe you meet on the street. Start by doing those four things, and perhaps you will meet a man who will not only fuck you, but take you home to meet mom and dad.

Going to the bar to meet a man is out. The only type of relationship you are going to find there is the one night kind. Keep your bar nights for simply hanging with your friends, and stop getting numbers from drunken men. Not only are you not going to remember them the next morning, but more than likely they won’t remember you either.

It’s the little things that turn a nice guy on, and most women are set on doing the exact opposite. I am lucky enough that I was never really that female, and that I already have the man I want. So to make it even easier to find your Mr. Right, here are even more tips for you.

1.Keep the makeup to a minimum~If a man has to carry tissues with him to wipe off your foundation/lipstick/blush every time he kisses you, it’s time to cut it down. Not only that, but think of this. If a man tells you that you are beautiful when you are wearing ten pounds of makeup, how keen are you going to be to keep a fresh clean face around him? Keep it real ladies, there is no need for that much makeup.

2.Cover up~Sure, you look sexy in those skin tight jeans and halter top. But if that’s all you ever wear, and never get yourself comfortable in a pair of sweat pants or a t-shirt that doesn’t show cleavage, how is a man supposed to take you home to meet mom. A nice guy will NEVER take a girl to his parents house wearing a mini skirt and a titty showing top. Find clothes that not only make you feel good, but are a little more appropriate.

3.Get off the drugs/alcohol~It’s one thing to be the life of the party, but when you party every day of your life and you are over 25, you will not find that great guy to spend the rest of your life with.  A man wants a woman who is in control of herself, who can make good decisions. Being a drug user, or an alcoholic are not good choices.

4.Take care of you~Don’t go looking for a man to support you. Make sure you can take care of yourself not only financially, but physically and mentally first. A guy may like being the white in shining armor, but after a while having someone who depends on them constantly grows tiring.

5.Educate yourself~This doesn’t have to mean schooling. It also means find what is interesting to you, what things you like to learn about, and do it. This also helps you to have the ability to converse with the person who has the same interests in you. A man appreciates a woman who says what she means, and can have a good debate without it being an argument.

Those are just the basics, there are many more things a woman can do in life to get the nice guy. It’s easier if you get those I have listed down pat, and then take it from there. Just remember, keep true to yourself. Don’t change your looks or personality to match a mans. It may get you a good guy, but it won’t help you keep him.

Watching the following video this morning, I simply could not stop laughing. If everyone took their wedding vows as serious and honest as this couple, I wonder how many of us would simply stop the ceremony and walk out of the church?  Real or not, this couple said the things most of us wish we had said.  Hell, my first time around, my vows would have read something like this :

“**** You are not the best I could get, but I am desperate enough to take the chance. You caught me in a weak moment in my life, where I was dumb enough to say yes. You drive me crazy with your controlling ways, and your weak manhood moments. Having to be the one in the relationship with the bigger balls is not what I was looking for in a man. The sex itself is enough to cry over, in fact I regularly do. Thank heavens for the shower head and romance novels. However, I will settle for you for now, until my brain is smart enough to wake up and knock some sense into me.”

Lucky enough, if and when I am ever smart enough to walk down the aisle again, I will be able to say my vows without choking on them. For now, I am happy and content enough to be with my boyfriend and not worry about when or if. We will take it slow and steady, and enjoy each other the way we are.

So, enjoy the video, and think about what you would have said in your own vows if you could have been more realistic and said exactly what you wanted to.

Well, it’s been a few days…I’m better now…able to sit and write again.  I got a good chuckle this morning. A few guys I know on another site are getting spammed by a woman who sends the same letter to everyone. I told them sorry guys, I feel for you, but its about time the men got a taste of what women get in our emails all the darn time.

Then we all started talking more about this “woman” and figured out she is not just on our site, she is all over the internet. Google her name, and you can find the many different sites she belongs to, spamming the same letter, over and over. She even has ads on Craigslist. She say’s the same thing every time :

Message from rita20 online
November 22, 2008 - 08:14 pm

Hello!
I am a lady of 23, I found you profil here at (www.roverradio.com) and picked interest in you.
My name is RITA.I wish to be in love relationship with you
and may be discover ourselves as real partners for life
pls send your e- mail to my address (rita_baby1985@yahoo.com)
so that i will send my picture to you What has come over people that they feel the need to spam so ridiculously? Is it a game? Are there others involved, with someone keeping track of just how many people they email with their junk?

This particular spammer reminds me of the Nigerian scams. I think most of us at some point got their emails. The ones that begged you to change money over for them, that due to their government, they couldn’t access their money and needed our help.

Then there is the Craigslist spammer. He sends out ads for a large bird, sometimes an African Grey, sometimes a Blue and Gold Macaw. He tells you he will sell you the bird for free, as long as you send the money for shipping first. Right, let me jump right on that one.

Most people who are on the internet regularly are not only too smart for these spammers, but we let others know to watch for them also. It’s the newbies online that are caught in this scam. They and the naive of course. Then again, if you read an email, and there is any mention of money, love, marriage, sex, travel, etc..from someone you don’t know, and you choose to respond, you deserve what you get.

Sometimes ignorance is NOT bliss, and this is one of them. If you have to pause and actually think about the contents of an email, close it and delete. Or do what I do to people who send me their spam mails..I sign them up for the raunchiest free porn site I can find. An eye for an eye, or in this case, a spam for a spam!

Well, the title is a bit misleading, I don’t think you should use duct tape on your own body. Although, there are those girls who I have seen wearing duct tape dresses. I had to take myself to the er this morning, as it seems my womans time has decided to take over my body. I won’t go into too many graphic details, it isn’t seemly, but lets see if I can break it gently. You have heard the saying “don’t trust anything that bleeds for seven days and doesn’t die”, right? Well how about “something who bleeds uncontrollably for 72 hours”? That’s me right now.

The er was a bit uncomfortable, the wait not long at all for once. The most difficult part was explaining to the male nurse and doctor my female problem. You get asked questions like, were you raped, have rough intercourse,or injury? I just told them it was Adam’s revenge, lol. There were tests done, problems figured out a bit. Apparently taking ibuprofen at my age, and as many as I was due to the menstrual pains, was doing the opposite job of what ibuprofen is supposed to. Instead of clotting and slowing down the blood, it was thinning and speeding it up. Not a good combination.

So I was given some options, and after I go in to have an internal exam, we will move forward from there. But in the meantime I am to take no ibuprofen or Aleve, cut down on my caffeine and smoking. I need to start eating green veggies and more calcium.  My body right now is severely dehydrated, and on top of being anemic, I am simply losing all my nutrients. So n other words, change my lifestyle a bit.

The other bit of interesting information I received was this: I am to stop almost all use of tampons, as I have the signs of TSS(toxic shock syndrome). Apparently, with everything else that was wrong with my poor body, these symptoms were being masked. This might be the hardest challenge of them all, as I have been using tampons since I was in the eighth grade and cannot stand the feel of pads.

I think the scariest, and yet a bit humorous part, was when they started talking about surgeries. One is to remove the uterus lining completely, the other one to just section off a bit of it. The funny part was when the doctors kept warning me that both surgeries can lead to infertility. I had to remind everyone a few times that I had a tubal ligation a few years ago and unless someone messed up, I didn’t have that ability anyways.

So for now, I am going to follow their advice, and cut back the bad, and start eating the good. It will be a challenge for me, I don’t like many vegetables, and I really love my coffee.Then again, I love to  live also, and I kind of like the body I do have, so it would be nice to keep my pieces and parts.

The one thing I would like to pass on to other women is this: Yes, as we get older, our bodies change. But please don’t ignore the signs of something more serious. I have been getting worse for almost six months, and it took me till now to get it looked at.  It’s not always a good thing to wait and see.

Being a woman in this day and age can be a very confusing time. On one hand, most of us are taught at young ages that a man is supposed to take care of us and we are supposed to take care of the children. We were supposed to be stay at home moms, dinner on the table at 6, and enjoying sex was never ever something we discussed. Yet on the other, we want to be treated as equals, to be seen as supporting the family in a monetary way also.

Now, I can name on one hand the number of friends I have that are happily married two parent households. I am not one of them, at least not yet. I am in the category of single, yet happily dating a wonderful man, mother of three children. I am a divorced abuse survivor, a full time worker, and sometimes I feel as if I am split in four directions at once.

I am lucky enough to have found the man who I know eventually, once we both get past the scared stage, I will end up with for life. This time around, I took my time, and got to know him, in fact, I still learn new things each day.  Today I learned something about myself, something that shook me for a few minutes. As much as I had dreamed about being taken care of, while I was the stay at home, cook and cleaner, I don’t want it. I like working, and I’m damned good at it. I love the fact that  I can say I support the family, I havent had that in a long long time.

Luckily enough, I also get treated like the lady I am in public, and the woman I am in private. I can have long deep conversations with my love, and he respects my opinions, whether he agrees with them or not. He holds doors open, and asks me how I am.

So I guess in my world, in my own thinking, it’s okay now that I don’t have the same life my grandmothers and aunts did. I have it pretty damn good the way things are, whether I bring in the money or not. I still know at the end of the day, when we look over my paycheck, my guy will still have to open the damn pickle jar for me, and that’s fine by me. I’m a woman, not superman.

I say women only in the title, because well, men tend to not know, care, or even want to hear about a woman’s “monthly”. Not to mention, most of us don’t share it with them anyways. The only thing my guy needs to know, is when it is here, and make sure I have the pain meds.

I think if I could go back in time, the first thing I would do is pick that apple, shove it in Adam’s mouth and say “You eat the fucking apple!”

It seems like since I am getting up there in age, I am now 29 + 2, that my time gets more erratic, more painful, and more messy than when I was younger. I go through more “accidents” a month than I ever did. I even talked to my gynecologist about this, and was told, it’s normal, and the only way to fix it was to go back on birth control.

Hell no!! I have my tubes cut, burned, and rubber banded, I have no need to take birth control again. Not only that, but I distinctly remember the hassle, the ups and downs of the Pill. It was no picnic, and yes, I did get pregnant with my first child on that. Why test fate now?

Nope, I think I will sit back, whine and moan, eat chocolate, swallow aleve like it’s candy, and take long hot baths every five minutes.

The following video is simply for a chuckle, and so something I could see myself doing if I tried to act all sexy on purpose.

ARGGGGGGGGG

Sorry, I had to get that out first. This post is mostly for those of us who are sick and tired of uppity, better than you, my shit don’t stink, holier than thou attitudes. This is life people. It’s meant to be enjoyed. It’s messy, it’s funny, it’s even twisted at times. I think of it this way, if there is something you don’t enjoy seeing or reading, avoid it like the plague. Go through your life as sheltered as you were when you came out.

Myself personally, I have come a long ass way in the last year. I mean, at this time last year, I never would have imagined I would have come to enjoy sex as much as I do now. I never thought I would have lost as much weight, and I never thought I would get my sense of humor back again.

I hear so many people tell me how much they enjoy my company now, then they did before. Back when I was a wet rug, or someone who was so stressed, everything I said and did came out sideways.

So, for those of you out there who feel the need to judge me, and my lifestyle: go ahead. Yes, you might make it in to heaven before me. You might even have the golden ticket. But I damn sure will enjoy my ride more than you ever could. Now, if you are really looking for a laugh, click this and watch…The man shared this with me last night, and I got a good chuckle out of it.

Is it just me, or do others out there get equally irritated when a site doesn’t work for them? I had an issue with this site yesterday where I could not log in at all, in fact it was telling me I was using an invalid user. Well, no I wasn’t.  I was finally able to log in today, but of course, that meant I miss two payments for blogs I was unable to publish. Then as I was sitting there still irritated about that, another site I belong to was having issues of its own, and again, I missed out on key things.

I understand sites have issues from time to time, it’s going to happen. Somehow though, I always get the feeling they happen all at the same damn time.  It’s the same as when my computer decides it’s going to act as if it has no idea what I want.

Sometimes I long for the days of letter writing and walking to the post office to mail it out. Waiting days or weeks for a response back. I miss writing in a journal, searching for a pencil, biting on the eraser as I sort out ideas. Oh well, maybe tonight I will pull out the dusty old notebook and jot down a few things. Or, I’ll just pull up my Windows notepad, and type to my little hearts content.

For now, it’s off to work, and thankfully it is one of my shorter days. Have a great day everyone.

A special mention about a friend of mine. Her name is babygurl, and right now she is in the hospital with a severe case of bronchitis. Get well soon my friend.

So today is a contented day so far, better write now before things go downhill. The man is sick, again poor guy. I have the day off today, which is nice. I’m not used to having a weekday off, this new job very well could work out. You have to love quitting one job to go work for the competition. There’s only a few things I see wrong so far, like the less hours. But I am sure those will come soon enough. The other workers are so busy helping on the business’ website, everyone has forgotten about the actual store. I have to constantly remind myself not to do more work than I get paid for. It’s one of my damn faults.

I do have one gripe today. A while back, I applied for an online work from home call center job. Well today I got a response, they liked my resume, however, they are only looking for people during the month of December. I figure well hell, I can give it a shot. And then I went to the rules and qualifications. They want all kinds of things:

A corded phone with headset~who the heck has one of those

Internet explorer~I hate IE with a passion, love my firefox tyvm

Availability~whatever hours they choose, and no sense of shift time at all

Oh well, I will keep searching, there has to be a work at home call center, my ideal job. If I could sit at home and do nothing but take customer orders or complaints all day, *shiver*.

Well, that’s enough for now, maybe I will add more. I think it’s looking like a chinese food kind of night.

Enjoy the “nipsy”version of election coverage while you are here.

boobama.. - Broadcast your self LIVE